every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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