she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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