im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
