"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's not a foreskin expert like you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
