Rock
Scissors
Fuck
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
