Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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