and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
