When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
