you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
