If i come over, it means nothing
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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