my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
