I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
