it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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