just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.