They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
