He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
