it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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