if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize