I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
