I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
