Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
