so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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