You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
