Your tits are I can't wait for
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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