the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
