so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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