last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
