We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
