worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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