I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
