what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
