i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
