Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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