I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
