i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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