i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
