THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
