that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
