Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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