Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
