Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Someone came in the potted fern
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
