I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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