I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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