we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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