I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
