I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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