We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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