My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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