i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
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