the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
