If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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