This house was built for laser tag.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
