Porn is love you can see.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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