i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
