Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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