Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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