I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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