dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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