Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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