Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
