I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
