Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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