yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize