It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
